Is there anything that you do, in your writing, that you secretly actually DIG? Have you ever thought about this? I feel that we know each other well enough now, possibly against all of our own wishes, that I can just jump on in.
I remember writing Chapter Four of something or another and wanting to fly. Not worry about sentence fraggers. Not concern myself with offending the reader. The price be damned. And knowing I could not, not, not. Here I was, faced with the coolest idea, and no way to express it. It originally went something like:
Alice Walker writes Meridian as a maternally enslaved young black woman with no way out.
What I wanted to write was this:
Meridian screams at the reader from dried ink on the page, begging some straggler to cut her loose, let her breathe, while simultaneously pantsing the patriarchy.
Apparently, that was not academic enough. Fine then. After much literary profanity and perhaps a smashed keyboard, it ended up exactly like this:
In understanding her body as the betrayer, luring her into orgasmic complacency before nailing her to the wall with a fetus, Meridian.s psyche is fragmented, as well.
And, while professorial eyebrows went up, there was a collective sigh of relief from the land. The ivory tower was placated by the linguistic turn of a well-crafted phrase. And I got to say that a fetus nailed her to a wall. Whew.
We have talked about warrants, we have talked about risks and shooting matches, but I don't remember talking of negotiations. That is the last lesson I would hope to teach you, on paper at least. The art of the negotiation. I hear you saying things like: but, my teachers would hate it if I said what I thought. Usually, I hear that right after I hear: well, I don't really have a cool voice like Almond.
Are you so sure? I call, um, bullcrappy.
Maybe not just like him, no. But . . . there is something that you do that no one else can do. The way you bite your finger or turn your mouth down or laugh that is pure and unique and perfect for its you-ness.
What is your writing fingerprint? If you cannot fake one, and you cannot purchase one in the bookstore, can you find it in your own head? And, here's the kicker, will it then be REAL?
It truly is a muscle, perhaps one you haven't used before, but we are all born with it. (I promise, I am almost done pushing you. Just a few more days. :) It may not be that you were born with a missing writing muscle (as you have secretly feared) but rather, that you are simply afraid that it will not be good enough, not be strong enough, or will be severed off by some Dr. So and So.
What if, shiver, you could excercise it within the rigid walls of academia and get away with it?
Ah. Come on. You only live once.
I feel like I do a good job of using wit in my writing.( Taylor who peer reviewed my paper gave me that complement today. I had to give the shout out. Haha). My discussion group has talked about how Almond uses sarcasm and exaggeration in order to pull off wit. My wit is different because it isn’t dry or usually sarcastic. I feel like my wit involves coining my own words and phrases. On the first day of class, I asked Dr. P could if I could blog with a handle that wasn’t my “Gov’ment name.”
ReplyDeleteGov’ment Name (n): The full legal name that appears on your birth certificate.
By coining words and phrases I feel like it reveals my outgoing and goofy personality to my reader. And it also gives them insight of how I view the world. I guess it also goes back to the notion of warrants. Some of my coinage of words and phrases aren’t completely original --- I must confess--- Some of them are inspired from my cultural roots in the South, being a college student, being a scholar of English….the list goes on.
I feel that my wit is also successful because a lot of it comes from writing or typing exactly what I’m thinking without filtering it. It’s like that crazy uncle or other family member who gets a little elixir of life (liquor) in em’ and are instantly the best comedian on the planet. Laughs asides, sometimes this can work against me because it can utilize too much passion. We talked about this with Almond’s Condoleezza piece. Nonetheless, Wit can be a powerful tool. While someone is laughing to the brink of tears, I can craftily “drop some knowledge” ( I think I stole this coined phrase from. Dr. Morris an English professor at Auburn). It’s like that sneak punch that Muhammad Ali used on his opponents back in the day. BAM! It hits you on the floor and gets you thinking.
This was my American Lit professor’s response to the draft I sent him of my first paper:
ReplyDelete“One concern I have for the essay is that it seems a bit conversational and somehow erratic…Remember, conversations in a classroom and essays are somewhat different.…”
Ouch.
And there I was, patting myself on the back for managing to explicate a poem without putting myself to sleep. I had done all the things Dr. P was teaching me – there were dashes, italics, Almondisms. Heck, I even used the word heck in my paper. In my mind, I had taken Dickinson from drab to fab…but here I was. Staring at my computer screen. Wondering what I had done wrong.
I concluded that a poem explication is supposed to be boring.
…And I revised.
…And I achieved boringness.
A.
Part of having a voice is knowing how to use it appropriately - like Dr. P said, knowing when to negotiate. I didn’t change my message when I revised my paper, I didn’t edit my thoughts, just my words. You should never compromise what you believe, or change your ideas just to match someone else’s, but you have to be wise in choosing your method of expression.
My professor said that he was so distracted by my asides and remarks that he couldn’t focus on my analysis.
Well, bummer.
What’s the point of making a point if no one is going to discover it?
We as writers have to find a happy medium – we have to give up a few words for the sake of achieving our purpose sometimes. We have to change a few structures for the sake of our audience. We have to use our voice so skillfully, sometimes, that our readers don’t even know that we are completely in their head.
Sounds so manipulative.
I kind of like it.
Almond’s voice will stick with me throughout my career as a future educator; however, I probably won’t be able to use his style of writing very much. If high school/middle school students could use some of the techniques as Almond, I think they would benefit from it. The students would see how to write non-academically—the exact opposite of what they are supposed to do. But students need to be exposed to all types of writing, whether it is grammatically correct or not. After all, students are in class to learn. So, why not learn a different style of writing? As a college student there have been so many classes that I’ve just wanted to rip my paper apart because I didn’t like what I was writing. We are so focused on getting our thesis sentence and content to match up and make sense that we don’t focus on our style of writing. Honestly, I think my style is all across the board of writing.
ReplyDeleteI also read Zeke’s paper, and he does use wit very effectively. I think that is one area that I have to constantly work on in order to improve. Most of the time, I don’t get the gist of incorporating wit the first time I write a paper. With our most recent paper, I had to dig deeper into my writing heart and open it up a little bit more. I think it gushed out more wit than in my first attempt to write this paper. Still…there is much, much more room for improvement.
As far has having a fingerprint for writing, I’m not exactly sure it is fully dry. My fingerprint is still a little bit damp from being put in the ink in order to make the print. I’ve got some more working and growing to do.
Let's go dancin' in a dioxin dump
ReplyDeleteLet's test our love, let's press our luck
Let's get sick and have our stomachs pumped
Let's go dancin' in a dioxin dump
This world is full of people who
Spend their lives in shoppin' malls
Let's go drinkin' on Highway 9
We'll get smashed and have a wild time
This world is full of people who
Think a lot about bowlin' balls
No one will ever fall in love with a
Nitro burnin' funny car
No one will ever have lunch with a
Nitro burnin' funny car
-Dead Milkmen
After half a lifetime of listening to The Dead Milkmen, as my brother bequeathed their Smoking Bannana Peels e.p. to me at a young age (on tape, if that is any indication how young), I have mastered the art of cynicism. If there is one thing I do well it is that. I feel like the silly self-destructive nature of the world and the people in it is all too obvious, but I also realize how hopeless it is to react to the hatred, the ignorance, or even just the apathy of the world. Because in the end people don't change, especially when they are being chastised. How do you get around this problem? I think Rodney Anonymous found it, in a very post-modern way. You point out the silliness of the world at large, and you point it out simply by taking on the voice of the silliness of the world. From listening to TDM for years I realized the advantage that Rodney has. They are not popular, and the majority of people don't care what they have to say. They are just a ragtag group of punk kids that never made it too far at all. But this is where their power lies. As Rodney can assume that no one is taking anything he says too seriously, he is free to not try and make a point, and in this way he can make an even deeper point. Taking on the narrative of pop culture itself, and turning it around. Showing all the ugly fake emotions, the conformity that is accepted as par for the course, how assinine people really are. And he does this simply by making a song about NItro Burning Funny Cars. If I've learned much over the years, it is to hone this cynicism, and stare at a world all anew. In a way that is entirely unemotional, but allows for much more emotional depth, as it becomes easier to disconnect from the world and view it as an outsider. As if coming out of a cave after many years, looking around, and saying "What the fuck, guys? This is really what you've become?"
This all worked in the end to destroy teenage depression, angst, and paranoia. Cause it told me that the world truly is a shitty place, people are bad, and the only person you can really trust in the end is yourself--and in a certain way, this makes life hilariously dumb. And somehow, that made everything seem so much better.
I am not a fighter. Never have been and never will be. My mother calls me her non-confrontational child. I’m the people pleaser. I was the person you called when you needed a patch for your leaky roof of a life (just ask my sister). Tell me what you want and I’ll just about kill myself trying to make it happen.
ReplyDeleteThis is, sadly, no different with my writing. I was that student that followed every outlined rule on the assignment sheets. I often double-, no triple-, check grading rubrics and assignment sheets to make sure I have everything the instructor wants. In high school (who am I kidding, in college too) I would sigh in relief when the teacher would hand out a step-by-step, perfectly outlined project sheet.
Easy. No need for warrants, risks, or shooting matches. But then again, there also wasn’t a need for negotiations either. I surrendered before the battle even began. I was willing to produce what they wanted before they even asked. “Just tell me,” I would say, “Just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.” That blank white flag has been snapping in the wind for 15 years now.
And then I got to this class. Oh lord help me, I got to this class. Leading into my senior year, I was comfortable with my permanent position as a surrenderer. It had gotten me this far, why rock the boat? That first day of class, Dr. P, did you see my white flag? It was waving tall. But I was in for a surprise. Instead of accepting my surrender, Dr. P started pushing… and pushing… and pushing her way across the battlefield, ignoring my flimsy white flag as it flapped in the wind. She was not taking “surrender” as an answer. She wasn’t going to tell me what she wanted or give me that damn rubric easily. Nope, she just pushed until I had two options: retreat and drop the class or start pushing my troops forward to meet her.
And then, I found I had a little bit of a wolf’s fighting spirit under all that fluffy, white sheep’s clothing. I started pushing my own words out of the trenches and across that battlefield. And those muscles hold up the white flag of surrender? I realized how tired they are after 15 years. It’s time to work some new muscles. Yeah, those new muscles are flimsy, but with some practice and some pushing, I might be able to develop that “writing muscle” that I truly did not think that I had.
As for my writing fingerprint? My writer’s voice? The art of negotiation? I’ll admit it, I have no freakin’ idea. I’m still experimenting. Still trying to discover that hidden voice. (Although, if I’m supposed to find it in my head I’m seriously concerned… that voice inside my head can be seriously twisted sometimes. Hence why I censor. A lot.) I need to first find my voice before I can start negotiating it into the academic world. But, first thing first, I need to learn how to stop waving that blank white flag and throw some paint on it. It’s time to design the flag of Beth-land… boy, it’s going to be colorful.
Maybe I am so afraid to push myself because it is so close to a cliff. Not just any cliff. One of this cliffs those cartoons stare down into and only the pitch blackness stares back. Aside from the monstrous murmurs coming from the underbelly of the dark abyss, there are only the echos of my stomach making queasy noises.
ReplyDeleteBut maybe that is my problem. Why do I see the cliff in this light (or dark, I guess)? Why can't my cliff look like Elizabeth Bennet's as she travels with family and discovers herself and her love for Mr. Darcy. It's one of the most beautiful scenes in the lastest movie. There are no dark holes for her to tightrope above. The wind looks so strong it could knock her skinny bones right over, but she still stands there and stands her ground.
So, if anything, I have begun to look at my cliff differently. I am not as afraid to fall as I used to be. Maybe I'll just Thelma and Louise may way into the cliff. I don't have a police brigade behind me, no one is really pushing me (except you, Dr. PD). It isn't life or death, but it is something I want to do.
I wish I was just Agent J (Will Smith) in Men In Black so I wouldn’t have to respond about this whole fingerprint thing, but alas I am not the matured Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. While I have not had my fingerprints burnt off by an orb at a secret government facility in New York City- I nearly lost them to the high school five paragraph essay format. Scorches on the soul of creativity, standardized education. I would finally attempt to slide profanity into a paper my freshman year of college-some sort of personality finally snuck its way into my writing.
ReplyDeleteLate 2009- the first time I did anything worth reading in my writing. And here I am, Mid 2011, having only made a few more baby steps out of the pit of monotony that was my past writing. I’m Detective Mike Lowery (to keep with the Will Smith theme). The crime I’m trying to solve is an abduction, a kidnapping. A rape of identity. And personality. And self. I’m on a missing persons case searching for me. I imagine everyone is on a similar adventure. I hope I’m not alone in seeking my textual humanity; I, Robot no more.
I don't know that I have a special talent in writing. A special thing that I do... A thing that is all mine. Dr. P. told me that I needed to use more sarcasm in my writing. I want to use more sarcasm and wit in my writing... I am just not sure how. I feel like I can be sarcastic in real life because I have my actual voice on my side. If I think what I am doing is stupid, I can just lower the tone of my voice to that "I'm bored out of my mind" tone and wha-la... sarcasm. But how should this translate into my writing?
ReplyDeleteI am fixing to go off on a small size rant...ready... go. I watch a lot of Gilmore Girls! Say what you want! I don't care. I don't care if you think Gilmore Girls is stupid, if you think it's cheesy. I don't care. (Do I really need to say it again?) Anyway... Gilmore Girls is amazing. The fast talking, the wit, the sarcasm, the pop culture references. They writing in Gilmore Girls has it all! I don't know if I have a signature move that I do in my writing, but if I could choose one to have... if I could pick my super power... I would write things that would come straight from the mouths of Gilmore Girls. Maybe one day I will be able to put this kind of magic into my writing, but for right now I am stuck with only dreaming about such literary greatness.
I have a theory... I think this is exactly why I feel like I'm awful at creative writing. It's because I AM. I have been conditioned to write boring research papers. Ever since high school I have only written research papers. The last creative piece I recall writing was in 5th grade, and I got the best grade in the class, and she even used my paper as the example. (See I used to be a good writer) Now I feel so inadequate in comparison to my peers in college.
ReplyDeleteResearch papers... awesome.
Creative papers... terrible.
That's how I feel. I desperately want to be able to write awesomeness, but I always get told it's too impersonal and technical. Well... who's fault is that?! Not this girl... it is the fault of my teachers... or better yet of the high school English curriculum. We are taught to right good research papers... not to just write well. It's a shame. I wish I could go back and push more and write what I wanted instead of being the goody-two-shoes I was and following all of the rules to a T. Maybe I'd be a better writer now.
My sister is a phenomenal writer. She pushed, she read books all the time... she didn't always follow the rules. I should have been more like her. Is it too late?
Lesson of the day: Teach kids how to write well... not just how to regurgitate other people's ideas in their own words. Let them be creative for God's sake. Let the kids find their voices.
I agree that people are conditioned to write research-style papers. The classically boring sentences that teacher’s expect in an English class against any kind of creative, personal turn of words, which usually results in the teacher crapping themselves and saying, “What the hell is this?!” Personally, I don’t understand how this kind of stylized paper came to be when people can’t enjoy reading them. I know I don’t enjoy reading them…or writing them for that matter. Coming into this class has been interesting because of the complete 180 we’ve been expected to do in 5 weeks. I’ve enjoyed writing as I would speak instead of having to make sure there are no contractions in my paper (gasp!). I had never really known that this kind of writing was acceptable having been brainwashed throughout my school years. So, starting Almond, and realizing that writing like his wasn’t only okay, but it was PUBLISHED (!) really opened my eyes. And I got excited thinking hey! I can do that too! So although, I (like most of the others) don’t really know my personal writing style or fingerprint, I enjoy knowing that I can have one. I’m getting there…I have a certain dry style when I’m speaking and it’s slowly, but surely starting to come across in my writing. It’s nice to know I don’t have to be a robot churning out the same boring formatted paper over and over again in which all the fingerprints are the same. Well, only when it doesn’t concern a grade. If there were a balance of this kind of creative writing and research writing throughout school systems, not only would the students have much more fun (and the teachers as well), but it would be good for them to know that you can put yourself out there once in a while in a new and interesting way. Maybe so many people wouldn’t be completely lost when they get to a class like this. Hell, you might even make a living out of it one day.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWit? Check.
ReplyDeleteSarcasm? Check.
Profundity? eh.
I don't think I make very much of a fingerprint. I think it's more of a blurry little blob on the page that sort of looks like it may be the shadow of personality... or it may be something from breakfast at chef's table. Achieving profundity is hard, and scary. And takes a dash of narcissism that I haven't quite honed in on yet. You've got to have that idea and not think, but KNOW that- Damn. This is good. I've always been a second guesser. It took me two grocery stores, two phone calls and way more anxiety than normal to choose what kind of wine I wanted yesterday. Now imagine what I go through when I write. I can't just spout it out. You can't just chug a 4$ bottle of chardonnay when you really want a $10 Pinot Noir. That's called settling. And unfortunately, I do it far too often when second guessing and re-writing becomes too thought intensive and laborious.
I know profundity is just on the edges of my reach, but why bother when I can just hack up something that's...eh. Why spend $10 when you can spend $4? Because it's all about the hangover. Compare, if you will, the feeling of getting an A(success)... and the feeling of getting a C(self-loathing). Now think about when you wake up after that bottle of $4(vomit), compared to when you wake up after the $10(glorious). The downsides make you wish you had spent a little more effort. Wish that you had searched a little harder and dug a little deeper to find that profundity hovering in the distance that's totally attainable but not without significant effort.
OR... have we been too institutionalized, formalized and formulaic to see it waiting there? Do we relish the research paper because it strips us from the burden of having to think deeply and meaningfully? Let's use the research paper as a scapegoat. Everybody wins: student, teacher, and university. Let's not bother with feelings here in academia. Go to psychology for that. Just give us something generic, regurgitated, and outdated...that'll be good.
But it's not.
That's what I need to make my fingerprint more than a smudge on the page. To make this post more than a comical analogy involving writing and wine. Because it IS about something more. Sure, it's great to be funny or witty or whatever but that's irrelevant if what you're writing about doesn't matter, doesn't move people. If you don't pull on your own heartstrings how do you think you're going tug someone else's? I've got to negotiate the deal between settling and striving and producing a fingerprint as distinct as the ones that stamp these computer keys.
All of my friends tell me that I remind them of Samantha from Sex and the City minus the slutty, sleep with everything with a penis side of her. For the ones that don't know and who are missing out, Samantha is the character that basically says what everyone else is thinking. She doesn't care what you think and holds no judgments of her own.
ReplyDeleteYea... I would say that's a rough idea of who I might be.
I began to notice this comparison come to the surface right around the same time that I had Dr. P for the first time, last fall. And it has me wondering, did she help me find this whole, new way of expressing myself just by encouraging me to push myself in my writing. Did it really affect my everyday life more than I thought?... By George, I think she's got it.
My point is that this class has taught me to not only find that hidden writing skill that makes me who I am, but also, taught me to find my inner voice and not be afraid to let it take control. Because, even if I don't have another professor give me higher than a C on a paper, I at least know one professor that did, and that's all the encouragement I need to keep pushing myself to express myself in the way that makes me 'me.'
A Writing Fingerprint…
ReplyDeleteI stood in front of my classroom doorway tonight and welcomed incoming freshmen and nervous parents. I found myself telling the students “Get ready for writing! We’re going to do a lot of it this year,” and suddenly the voice of the overeager first year teacher lurched out and said “English is awesome!” The past aspirations to be an elementary school teacher have resurfaced through Awesome Lists and cartoon owls. These freshmen are going to think I’m a freak. But what the hell do I care for? As long as they learn is the important thing right, who cares if they laugh at me while they do it? (And I love that stupid owl so they can shut up…glorified middle schoolers.)
This class has pushed a search for my own writing voice while I have been simultaneously searching for my teaching voice. Tonight I found my teaching voice. (That sweet one that likes talking to parents- not the bitchy one that defends cartoon owls…although…both voices are frighteningly real). I’m not sure what my writing finger print is because I don’t think I’ve fully developed it yet. I know I’ve made progress with the letter to myself (I LOVE footnotes). I felt free to be the smart ass, goofy girl that I am- pretending to know more than I really do simply because I’m older. I felt like my personality really comes through it which I KNOW does not happen with my other writing. I read an old paper from one of Dr. Silverstein’s classes and I thought: Holy shit. I wrote this? It was the first time I was impressed by my academia, but was I tantalized by my prose? No. I was surprised that I sounded like I knew what I was talking about. And talking about myself - I know what I’m talking about. I just need to branch out into the other areas of my life that I can apply that voice to without the “Dear Diary” sound. Basically I want to show who I am and make people fall in love with me and my writing. How else do I expect people to read any of this or expect my students to produce anything worth reading themselves?
A fire has been rekindled for writing. Thank You.
I feel that the strength in my writing (or at least my personal writing) is in the content. My writing centers around my family. My family adds so much to my life and gives me so much joy, and I feel that I convey this joy in my writing. It is easy for me to express my emotions about my family because I have such a strong bond with them. They give me strength when this world has beaten me down, so I have no issue showing my love for them in my writing. However, I must admit that I do not quite have the skill of using wit in my writing figured out. That is one element of writing that I wish I was more experienced with, especially since it has been such a huge factor in this class. This is a skill that I plan to continue working with in order to enhance my writing. I have definitely learned a few lessons from Steve Almond, and certainly have many more to learn.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Noel’s thoughts on Steve Almond. I am so glad that I had the chance to read is writing, but I don’t know how much of it I will be able to apply in my future classroom. It is predetermined that I am “supposed” to teach my students how to write a research paper and things of that sort, but teaching students to find their own voices as writers is nowhere in the curriculum. Especially after taking this class, it will be a personal goal of mine to find ways to incorporate creative writing in my classroom in order to help my students find their own writing voices.
Goddamnit I am a horrible writer. I just went back and read through all of the times that I have actually posted on this blog and I cam away with one thought: How in the name of God am I getting a diploma for my efforts in English? Its almost embarrassing. Really. I managed four years of churning out paper after paper (almost always at the last possible second) without having matured as a writer at all. All of the papers in which I wasnt given strict directions on what I could and could not write always wound up being a joke to me. They were just a forum for me to see what I could get away with while writing with my muse Keystone Light. To say that I drunkenly stumbled through four years of an English degree would actually be pretty accurate. I couldnt write my way out of a wet paper bag. So why do I keep writing and why am I moving on to something else that will require even more writing? Because Im as cocky as Kenny Powers and could bullshit a bullshitter. Its that plain and simple. Im waiting for someone to finally burst my bubble after I turn in a flaming bag of poo that will ultimately receive an 83 because I didnt expand on my thoughts well enough. I've written a three page paper on the predominant customs at midget weddings. Have I ever been to a midget wedding? No. Have I ever even attempted to research midget weddings? Absolutely not. But I have gotten an 88 on a paper because I "provided great insight into a culture that not many of us understand". That bad boy was hanging from my refrigerator for close to two months after its triumphant return. All of my papers are like my bastard babies. I dont know where they came from and I dont like them too much, but I still feel attached to them in a way that only a proud papa could. God Bless America
ReplyDeleteMy. Writing. Fingerprint.
ReplyDeleteDo I have one? I think I may have half of one but not enough to identify me as the author by any specific personal work. My writing voice tends to change, and I haven't yet decided which voice is uniquely mine or if they all come together to form one personality that is true in and of itself. I'd to believe the latter rather than to think that I'm confused as to what my true voice is. But I'm starting to see that may be normal for writers at my stage and age.
Honestly, Dr. P, I don't believe many other teachers would like me to write in the same brutally honest, witty, bitchy style I do in this class. And it's not because I don't believe I could ever write like Almond. I believe I am perfectly capable of developing a writing style that is just as unique. However, if we're honest with ourselves, professors at the university aren't exactly into uniqueness. They care more about some BS theory on the meaning of a poem (that the author probably meant for us to take at face value). They want our papers to be mundane and academic. All the while they sit on their couches at night reading writers like Almond, wishing more others wrote in that way, and then scribble a red A on a paper than Almond would die of shear boredom reading.
Why? Why do they do this? Job security? Pressure to be all academicy and profound but only when it's when it's while breaking apart a piece of 17th century text? Are we incapable of having a meaningful voice, an awesome warrant just because we are young? Because our minds have yet been tainted by the work that is fulfilling expectations of a dissertation that says everything except what we wanted it to say?
Dr. P, I do excuse you from what I am about to say about these sort of university "professionals", as I believe you have pushed us to be better writers by loving our own writing, our own voice, our own heritage.
But it seems to me, that the lack of Almond-ness in our writing, the boring nature of collegiate papers, the lack of direction and meaning upon being thrust into a premature writing career....
may be just as much the instructors' blame.
Thank you Rachel for saying something that I swear all of us have thought before. I swear Dr. P is the only professor that has ever asked to hear our real voices and to see our real writer's fingerprints.
ReplyDeleteDR P I WANT TO PANTS SO MANY PEOPLE.
ReplyDeleteThis is not going to be intellectual until tomorrow, but funny nonetheless.
Thank you for giving us a voice that we so lack in so many other stupid effing papers we write. I appreciate so much about this that you don't even understand.
I think all of us have something inside that needs to escape... this class has brought that out in me. We have demons... at least us normal ones... and through our writing we discover our true selves. Nothing is left out when we're writing to our selves and thats why I so appreciated this second paper... if we wrote something false, we knew we were lying to ourselves and that just doesn't feel right-- it feels worse than lying to strangers.
I confessed to you the one and two and three booze problem but if I didnt I would be lying to myself and to my writing. You are the one who has brought out so much "realness" in my life and I thank you for it.
I hate speaking to others in class and I always feel so insecure that everything I write is so insignificant to theirs, but you make us feel equal. This class has helped me to appreciate the many facets of the students in our class.
I definitely feel like I'm blabbering right now and that's ok, I'll fix it tomorrow and probably have a moral hangover over everything that I've typed here tonight...
ps: the last security code I had to type was "terdsm" that made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI find myself wanting to sound like other people in my writing. I peer review Ally’s paper the other day and was blown away by her writing voice. She write so well.. and it comes naturally for her. I try to mimic her style ( which is similar to Almonds) but when I do it, it sounds forced, fake , and empty.
ReplyDeleteI’m not saying that I suck at writing, I just don’t have that smart-ass voice that uses sarcasm with every sentence. I have learned to open up a lot during this course, however, I don’t feel that I will be allowed to use this writing voice much in the academic world…it seems that academia wants boring mundane papers that merely express an idea and nothing else….no opinions creeping into students' papers from any angle.
Writing is a constant struggle to please your readers and your professors. Most English professors want you to stick to the formal, boring crap that we so often resort to in research papers, however Dr.P is probably the only English professor I've ever had that pushes the limits. I can honestly say that I've changed so much as a writer from day 1. I've learned to show my true voice and leave my fingerprints all over the page...to take risks in my papers with ellipses, wit, footnotes, drive-by-narratives, etc. Writing has always been a pleasing contest to me, but now I will approach my papers how I want. It's time for me to be real and let my voice be heard.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this recent paper on a letter to myself was my final push. It showed my fingerprint amongst the writing depths. I pushed harder than I ever have to become this wity, yet very emotional writer. I wrote to my 21 year old self, which came out as funny at first, but as I began to dig deep through every event of that year, I realized that there was much more to say. Much more than just drinking and bar nights. There were friends and lovers who impacted my life and made me, well me.
ReplyDeleteAt 2 a.m. this morning I went back and tore most of the pages out of my first draft because I didn't feel like it was good enough. Dr. P, you have always pushed us to write for us. No warrants. No judgement. Just write. It didn't fully hit me until this morning.
I pulled out seven pages of pure me this morning and I owe it all to the big push. That's all it took.
Rachel, I am completely in love with your post. We, as students, have been brainwashed into thinking that academic, proper writing is the only way. And yes I know where to place the blame. Great Post!
Our "finger print" you ask, aye doc? Negotiations? I will attempt to answer your question by feeding everyone an opinion or belief of mine -which i might note-happens to be a hobby of mine even if fot the sole sake of hoping to start a ferocious argument so passionate that it borders an athletic match of some sort.
ReplyDeleteMy finger print is MY VOICE. When I sit down and write a piece, specifically for this class, I know I am granted with a certain bit of writer's creative freedom to create something that other "tighty whitey" "granny panty" wearing academic guiders that take up space on the ninth floor of haley center might shudder- eww perhaps even blush (if im lucky)- if they had to sit down and grade.
~(SIDENOTE: Im listening to pandora as Im typing this and a little tune by a man named Charles Wright entitled "Express Yourself" just came on. OH SWEET, DELICIOUS, COCK HARDENING, IRONY!)~
Oh yes, NOW, back to my fingerprint. As I stated earlier I believe this print to be my "voice". YES, my actual spoken voice, the loud one escorted by vocal chords and mouth that I know speaks too often in class and probably makes some of you guys skin curl when it does. Im sorry.(You can call it genetics, you can call it a curse- you can suck it if you dont like it)
This class has taught me or made me realize what "honesty" is in regards to writing. For me, that "honesty" appears or occurs rather, when the ink I put on paper can be recited by anyone in our class and be percieved by all those who hear it as the person reading doing their best impersination of me.
I really strive (at least in this class and in fiction) for the opinions I have and the voice I use on paper to mirror my being, what makes me, who I am. I aspire for my words to sound like a conversation I may have with a friend-the likes of which are typically cynical or drunken in nature.
Back to that "opinion" thing I was talking about in that introduction paragraph. In my opinion (which I so dearly love) the best way for the proverbial fingerprint to be stamped on our work can be accomplished, for me at least, in 2 ways.
1. Try actually voice recording your thoughts before you write. Fear not ye bretheren and sisters of the south in regards to how horrible we fear our voices may sound. The freedom and exhileration experienced doing this is something that borders criminal.
2. Try actually writing your paper by hand on paper.. yes with a paper and pen, on notebook paper.
I have a theory, one admittedly, i know i have shared with a few people in this class. I feel that to simply sit down and type can be restricting. I am aware our generation grew up on AIM and computers and typing but I firmly believe that speaking or writing is entirely different, completely second hand in nature which I believe makes these methods a virtual green pasture for us as writers. An oasisi with unlimited possibilities.
Contrastingly, typing I feel is a bit more complicated, and requires concious thought. Concious thought-deliberate action- impedes freedom and enetring the "honest" state and creative process.
OH YEAH: ALMOST FORGOT: NEGOTIATION...
I fully suspect next semester that I will enter the jail cell one of these "tighty whitey" "granny panty" wearers of the 9th floor call a classroom. I have confidence though. I have found my voice, or rather, I have found the road that will lead to its true unraveling.
The same cynicism and sarcastic babble I so brazenly attempt to unleash in this class WILL be carried with me to the next class taught by the uptight "scholar/professor/academic guider" cloaked likely, in courdoroy or pant suits.
~CONTINUED~....
ReplyDeleteThe negotiation? There is no negotiation. You are who you are and if you dont write it, than you are a liar and are fucked. That being said, words and sentences are our freedom. They are our playgrounds as writers. With them we can mold our creations or thoughts like potters_ In other words, disguise them.
Considering this, (without dropping F-bombs or missing commas) we are able to stay true to ourselves and our work.
The best part about words is that they are limitless and can be spun however we want. Thus in this respect, the negotiation is thus settled on our own terms.
PS
1. I respect each individuals right to choose the underwear they feel is best suited to their own body and comfort needs.
2. If you dont like my voice, like I said in an earlier paragraph you dont REALLY have to "suck it"- but you can FUCK OFF.
I am reading these comments trying to figure out my own way, and I can't help but feel stuck and even (I admit) afraid of what Dr. P said. I think she nailed it when she writes that we are afraid we won't be good enough in our writitng so we keep our personaliy at bay. We struggle to insert personality in the confines of education. If my term papers had as much heart as my journal entries or as much emotion as my conversations I would be a hell of a writer. The thing is, I am totally in fear of judgement. I have commented before that I never really let anyone read my personal scribbles. It's not secrecy or pride, it is fear that limits my sharing abilities. I laughed out loud at what Kristin said, however about manipulatin the reader. The truth is, when you read literature with such strong voice, you cant help but agree and identify with author. When writing is boring we let our eyes glaze over and let the words slide in one side and out the other. The two major pieces we have written for this class, I let my boyfriend and roommates read. They were personal, detailed, and full of my own voice. They loved it. I read them a paper I had written for a different lit class... I lost them after the first paragrah. Hell,I was bored with my comments. I need to bridge the gap between being an academic and allowing me to shine through. The only way I know how to do that is to keep writing. Practice makes perfect I suppose.
ReplyDeleteSome pre-thoughts while I get focused:
ReplyDeleteI am definitely an advocate of writing on paper before typing. I tried to go straight to the word processor for this one, and started an absurd number of responses. Each time I would end up completely off-subject or writing out just plain nonsense. It’s way too easy to type a load of shit, highlight it all, and delete it. So, to my notebook I returned. And I also have a strong like for pilot G-2 pens.
Self-reflection is harder than I thought..
Also, I think handwritten typos are funny. They’re not even typed!
Okay, I’ll start now…
I have several fingers, ten to be exact. So lucky for me, I get to have ten fingerprints, and least a few of them bear the grooves of my writing. Call it dissociative, but I call it resourceful.
My demeanor on and off paper are very similar. I’m a scaredy-cat, for one. You won’t hear too many absolute statements coming from my direction. What if I’m wrong? What if I change my mind about what I’ve writing? So I dance around a point, and if/when I finally make it, I’m careful to let it be known that I don’t expect everyone to appreciate what it is I’m saying. It’s okay to reject my words. Except it’s not…it’s very easy to dishearten me - look at me wrong and I may just crawl right back into my rabbit hole. Part of me wants, NEEDS, affirmation. Part of me doesn’t give a shit about how I’m received. And then there’s the part of me that is positive that I am an idiot. And my response to the insecurity? A game of tug-of-war between my people-pleasing and fuck off sides. But I do try to stay true to what it is I want to say, no matter how softly.
This class has planted a seed in me that has begun sprouting into a little tree of confidence. I can be confident and not even change the way I write (except when I find ways to improve, of course). Maybe my quietness kicks ass. Or maybe it does, but I don’t care so much anymore. What I care about is producing honest writing. Liberation from the self-procured shackles!
So, no negotiating when it comes to the writing voice, but what about producing academically sound papers? I think we’re being a bit hard on our other teachers…Maybe they’re not quite as accepting of rule-breaking (which, by the way, I am LOVING), but even a research paper bears at least some of our individual stamps. I think Dr. P’s example is a perfect one to prove that we don’t have to give ourselves up for the sake of academia. Just a little rewording is all. Think of it as a friendly challenge to broaden our potential audience.
"The same cynicism and sarcastic babble I so brazenly attempt to unleash in this class WILL be carried with me to the next class taught by the uptight "scholar/professor/academic guider" cloaked likely, in courdoroy or pant suits."
ReplyDeleteBrilliant.
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ReplyDeleteI have no idea what my writing fingerprint is, and saying there is something I particularly “dig” about my writing would also be a false statement because everything I write is different. Half the time when I write, I don’t know what’s coming out until I read back over it. But when I write, it’s most often because I have something to say or something has been heavy on my heart. I know that doesn’t sound all that unusual, but I think that’s why this class has actually done something for my writing as opposed to those hoity-toity, high-esteemed literature classes where we write papers on what we think an author that’s been dead longer than I’ve been alive might have meant Those don’t improve my writing—it turns out to be more so a class competition of who can sound the most intelligent and impress the professor by proving some absurd claim about a piece of writing. I don’t see anything real about that, and I sure as hell don’t see any passion or trademark there. So what’s the point? As for pushing and becoming an individual as a writer?…I don’t see one, but there are different strokes for different folks, right? After this…I think I might pump some iron with this writing muscle for a while. I don’t know how to describe what it’s done for me, and I don’t know if I want to. I kind of like this unknown.
ReplyDeleteI had a revelation of sorts over the course of this class. I realized that I am a fifth year senior majoring in english, and this is the first class that has challenged me to find my personal voice as a writer. This class is really only the second other english course I've taken toward the major, with the exception of all the core classes. I have taken just about every elective class that Auburn has to offer, basic 1010/1020 classes and a number of intermediate classes as well and I have written countless academic papers for many of these classes-- one of the perks of lacking any direction-- English, Environmental History, Sociology, Political Science, Psychology, Anthropology, Social Gerontology, for god's sake, the list goes on; you name the class I've probably done a research paper for it. No matter what the topic, whether it be over Coleridge's Kubla Khan or Alzheimer's Disease they're all the same, in that they are written using the same formulaic process that I have formed and become accustomed to. And now that I have a class like this, that asks me not to dwell on formalities and focus on expressing yourself as honestly as possible, if only just for you. This leaves me paralyzed as a writer because this is something that i feel like I've been conditioned against. I have conditioned myself as a bullshit artist. My writing thus far has been the stringing together of arbitrary quotes and thoughts using flowery language in an attempt to convince each professor that I know what the hell I'm talking about (which I don't), this system however, has worked to an extent until now. Perhaps this is why it's been so hard for me to respond in many these cases, because i'm incapable of bullshitting them and myself, which brings up another question; am I even able to be honest with myself anymore? I feel like there's this subconscious filter that separates any feeling and personally out of my writing to create a faceless, saltine cracker, composition. That if read aloud would sound like a yawn-inspiring monotone recitation of some random academia (but damn there are some big words in there). Though I have a long way to go to finding something resembling a voice that I feel is true to myself, I am grateful that this class offered me the realization of what I need, a goal to reach; finding my writing fingerprint--which, as of now, is virtually nonexistent, and being an english major this is a most unfortunate self-actualization--but thanks to this class I now know what I need to do and a better understanding on how accomplish it.
ReplyDeleteMatt said, “Perhaps this is why it's been so hard for me to respond in many these cases, because I'm incapable of bullshitting them and myself, which brings up another question; am I even able to be honest with myself anymore? I feel like there's this subconscious filter that separates any feeling and personally out of my writing to create a faceless, saltine cracker, composition.”
ReplyDeleteI was a saltine. Actually I was every type of boring sick people food. My mom called them BRATS (bananas, rice, apple sauce, toast, and saltines). I had gotten so used to coloring within the lines that when I was asked to color outside those dark black boundaries, I found my pen could not move. It could be called a pause, in terror that is. I froze. I had forgotten how freeing reading and writing can be and in doing so I had removed myself from my writing. I had lost my voice and finger print. But not anymore. I’ve started to earn them back. Hear me talking now world?